I woke up to find Drake not on the couch but Sandi, I walked into Nicki's room quietly and opened the door to see Ciah clutched to her chest and Drake laying next her. Their hands intertwined.
As a mother I didn't know how to feel finding a boy in her bed, but just as me being me I could see they both had something the other was lacking. Seeing them together put this warm feeling in my heart that i just couldn't explain.
I quietly closed the door and began to make breakfast. Nicki wasn't going to school today, she needed to stay home and get prepared for their first session together. I was nervous as ever she never reacted well to sessions alone or with others I was just hoping that some how this one would be different for her.
Nicki's POV
I woke up to see Ciah playing with Drake's face tugging at his ears and giggling as Drake made funny faces. I was still worried seeing Drake take all those pills and drinking but some how he made it through the night just fine. I kept looking and smiling at him and Ciah .. I couldn't wait to be normal and really have a family like this just getting to wake up to my son or daughter playing with my husband. I looked down to see our hands clutching each other once again I guess this was something I would have to get over and used to doing.
"Ciah baby you need to go potty ?" I asked
"Dwake took me mommy" Ciah responded
"Aw, Ciah remember you can't call me mommy you have to call me sissy" I said kissing his forehead
"Oh- tay" Ciah said reaching out for me
I picked him up and climbed on top of Drake .. "You ok ?" I asked
"Yeah lets go eat breakfast" he said sliding me off of him
We walked into the kitchen to see our mothers giggling away and smiling as they saw the three of us walk in, just at that same time Jelani walked through the door holding a bottle in his hand. I looked down as he stumbled back to his room.
"Is he ok ?" Sandi asked looking worried
"Uhh Yeah he's just been drinking a lot more lately" Carol responded
He had nights where he just went out and drank his life away, no one really understood why.
Ciah began to get antsy as I was trying to focus and get his food but my hand was shaking terribly.
"Nika" Carol said
"Yes mama ?" I said
"Focus baby feed Ciah" Carol said softly
"Sorry" I said softly
I started to feed Ciah again , but I heard things being thrown across the room Jelani was drunk, and now angry. I could feel my panic attack about to hit, the noise triggered me. I dropped the spoon and began to gasp for air..
"Nika ?" I heard my mom yell
When I woke up I was on the couch and Drake was holding Ciah as he had seemed to be falling to sleep crying. I didn't remember what had happened but I did know I was embarrassed as hell at the moment. I got up slowly as I saw Drake get up to go lay Ciah down.
Drake's POV
I watched as Nicki began to struggle to breath and then quickly pass out as she fell out of her chair I caught her and laid her gently on the couch. My mom ran and got a towel.. as Carol began sobbing uncontrollably...
My mother put the cold rag on Nicki's forehead and then went to comfort Carol during all this poor little Ciah began screaming and turning red, tears rolling , arms flying everywhere. I picked Ciah up and began to rock him.. He kept crying and screaming "Swissy swissy MOMMY" , I rubbed his back and kept saying she's ok buddy she's ok. I tried to process everything but of course my depression wouldn't let me... I was just trying to thing as Ciah was screaming.
Then there is a knock at the door and the police walked in..
"We're here to come get Jelani Maraj , where is he ? " They asked
I pointed to the back room they rushed back there and Jelani left in handcuffs. Carol cried even more and my mother went and checked on Nicki. Nicki .. shit.. I ran over to the couch where Ciah began to just stare at her and look at me.
"What's wrong wit sissy ?" He asked poking at my face
"She's sleepy" I said to him smiling
"What's dis ?" Ciah asked pointing at my freckles
"Freckles some people get them they are like little dots that god paints on your face" I said to Ciah poking his nose, gosh he looked so much like Nicki it was crazy
"I tired" Ciah said laying his head on my chest
5 minutes later he was passed out , I saw Nicki peek her eyes open and quickly shut them again. I went to give her space and lay Ciah down. When I got back Nicki was up getting water she stared down at the ground as she came back to the couch.
"I'm so sorry" Nicki said
"Hey no big deal it's not your fault, was it a trigger ?" I asked her watching her eyes fill with tears..
"Yeah" She said wiping the tears away
Ohh well that's something we could work out in our sessions they do help sometimes.. And I don't think we're leaving anytime soon my mom went to go pick up some clothes and food for dinner.
"Yeah I guess you're right, you guys are they best, I don't know how you deal with such a broken family like ours." Nicki said moving closer to grip my hand again
I felt calm "Everyone is imperfect, but see I you to me with your illness and mine we make a perfect match" I said chuckling "Basically we should be deadly to each other, but yet we help each other in the weirdest way.. our mothers do the same thing fill that problem the other needs fixed." I said looking deeply into her eyes watching her smile grow by the second, her cheeks turned the prettiest pink I have ever seen and her dimples deepened.
"You really are something special" She said as she reached up and kissed my cheek
I chuckled "Umm if you think so beautiful" I said licking my lips
"You need a nap Drake go lay down, come on I will lay with you" She said dragging me to her bed
I was exhausted I needed a way to process all of what was happening to me, and sleeping sometimes is the best way of solving those problems while I'm out cold sleeping. When I wake up they are there again but not as bad. I need to go back on my anti-depressant so I can drop these pills.
When we laid down I closed my eyes and passed right out....
Nicki's POV
I got up from the bed and went to go get Ciah I could hear him squirming in his crib. My mother and Sandi were drinking coffee and talking. I changed Ciah and went to get him a snack and his sippy cup.
"Nika baby , you good now ?" Carol asked handing her the sippy cup
"Yes mama" I said taking the sippy cup
"Nika ?" Carol said
"Yeah ma" I said starting to get irritated
"Umm I talked to your doctors and I'm starting you on anti-anxiety meds" Carol said softly
"What the hell ? I told you no to medicine I don't wanna have problems!" I said loudly setting Ciah down
"You need it Nika all these dizzy spells you're cutting too much oxygen off to your brain I don't like it you need meds it will help" Carol said
"Whatever I'm not arguing you think I'm so horrible I need pills I guess I will take them then" I snatched up Ciah and stormed out the house.
As we drove to the park the only thing I could think of was all the addicts I saw in the jungle. I had tears falling from my eyes like rain. Ciah was silent in the back not bubbly like normal. I sighed heavily I didn't like the effects my illness seemed to have on my brother, he's so young and already being affected by the things around him. I feel responsible horrible, worthless, and worried all at the same time. I needed to breath get some air and think.
We made it to the park and Ciah and I got out and went to go swing together , I kissed his forehead and held on to him tightly watching his smile grow as we swung back and forth.
Session 1 12:56 p.m
"Drake you have opened up pretty well, this session about your brother and dependency with some of the drugs, Onika ?" Dr.Johnson said
"Well I've talked about my anxiety, and the fact that I just started my pills today, what else is there to know" Nicki said dwindling her fingers w
"Why do you think your anxiety started ? What are your fears?" Dr.Johnson asked
"Uhh well " I looked to Drake for comfort .. How could I just open up to this lady ? Why did she have to know my business?
"Onika we are doing sessions to help you, you need to open up" Dr.Johnson pushed staring harshly at me
"Fuck you lady I didn't ask for this ! Why should I open up to you ? I have a mental illness some malfunction in my brain talking about my problems with you... How will that even help ? " I said irritated my head was throbbing from these pills
Drake looked at me and whispered "Nika you are in therapy to open up, who do you feel comfortable opening to, it does help somewhat."
I looked at him my eyes pleading to get out of here "I am comfortable opening up to you why can't I just do that I don't like this I need time she's to pushy" I whispered back
"Ma'am I don't think sessions are going to work for us, it seems Onika isn't ready for this kinda force within her treatment" Drake said grabbing my hand as we left without another word..
Our mothers looked pissed
Drakes POV
"It's just not going to workout mom she's not comfortable I guess we can work together on this open up to each other and help each other .. we could maybe do our own private session ?" I suggested on the car ride home
"Aubrey none of you are fucking therapist Carol and I pay good money for these private sessions and you guys just walk out like you own the place !" Sandi snapped back
As they pulled up to Carols you could hear Nicki getting yelled at too.. We walked in and I got told to sit my ass down on the couch
"You guys are not going to throw money away, it's cool you guys get each other but how are you guys supposed to help each other ? You guys are both sick" Sandi yelled
"I know it seems crazy but we are both able to easily open up to each other and accept each other for our problems without judging, we don't need therapy when we have each other.. There's something that just attracts us to each other" I said to my mother
Nicki sat there dwindling her hands, biting her lips letting her day dreams take over of what their private sessions could be kissing touching and more.. Really truly opening up to each other..
"Fine, fuck it you do these private sessions Aubrey no more pills no more weed ! I want to see you clean within three months, you guys have three months to get this worked out that's it we will give you the house alone for an hour twice a week" Sandi said storming out
Carol ran after her, I looked down at Nicki her face had a sense of relief I could read her eyes and her body language everything lead to a sense of relief.
"Well I guess we could say this is the beginning to us" I said taking her face within my hands her skin was soft as feathers and when my lips touched hers something serenaded within my heart warmth took over, as I pulled away I stared at her.
Nicki's POV
I was taken a back by his kiss his lips were soft plump they made you yearn for more. We stared at each other for a moment, was this really the beginning of us ? A couple I would have hoped for more of something formal rather than just a kiss that took my breath away. I was confused I bit down on my lip hard thinking things over.
"What ? Nicki what's wrong, what did I do ??" Drake asked taking my lip away from my teeth with his thumb
"Is this you asking me out ? How are we even sure this is going to work we barely know each other, you can't just tell me we are starting something.. You gave no warning, I'm confused you give me these feelings I love it but I'm also so confused where is this all going, putting my trust in you not to hurt me.. When you are still hurting yourself. " I said moving myself back from him, I didn't know if it was my anxiety or the fact that I had feelings for him that scared me but I didn't know what this was
His face twisted into hurt, he seemed to try and make sense of what I said "So I'm not good enough for you because I have problems ? I can ask you out formally I just thought if we were already going to be together a lot more often why not try something out but I guess we have differences within our thoughts Onika you need to learn to stop pushing me away cause honestly you're all I got and I kinda need you to help me get good enough for you" He said getting irritated he let go of my hand
"I never said you weren't good enough Aubrey I'm scared what if you leave me ? What if I push you away? I still don't even understand why you are giving me a thought of someone to be with I'm worthless honestly your wasting your time I don't even know how to function in a real relationship. I'm just scared sorry" I said beginning to break down I hadn't believed I was meant for someone in a very long time, I guess I could try to let him in...
"Aubrey we can give this a shot, let's just try things out I was over reacting sorry" I said beginning to cry
"I'm not going anywhere, I don't have anywhere to go.. You can't push me completely away I still need to run to you so you can help me work through these issues I have.. Your worth more than the world has to offer just let me in.. I can show you." He said wrapping me within his arms
I nodded in his chest, letting out all my fears through my tears. I guess this was the fucked up start of us...
Sorry it's a bit shorter than I wanted it to be , the story is still very open right now to where I could let it flow. It's truly only meant to be a 4 parts so the story might end open ended unless I'm really open to continuing it or unless you guys really want it to be finished. Still trying to find it's footing but part 4 should bring the characters together some how... Thanks for reading
I quietly closed the door and began to make breakfast. Nicki wasn't going to school today, she needed to stay home and get prepared for their first session together. I was nervous as ever she never reacted well to sessions alone or with others I was just hoping that some how this one would be different for her.
Nicki's POV
I woke up to see Ciah playing with Drake's face tugging at his ears and giggling as Drake made funny faces. I was still worried seeing Drake take all those pills and drinking but some how he made it through the night just fine. I kept looking and smiling at him and Ciah .. I couldn't wait to be normal and really have a family like this just getting to wake up to my son or daughter playing with my husband. I looked down to see our hands clutching each other once again I guess this was something I would have to get over and used to doing.
"Ciah baby you need to go potty ?" I asked
"Dwake took me mommy" Ciah responded
"Aw, Ciah remember you can't call me mommy you have to call me sissy" I said kissing his forehead
"Oh- tay" Ciah said reaching out for me
I picked him up and climbed on top of Drake .. "You ok ?" I asked
"Yeah lets go eat breakfast" he said sliding me off of him
We walked into the kitchen to see our mothers giggling away and smiling as they saw the three of us walk in, just at that same time Jelani walked through the door holding a bottle in his hand. I looked down as he stumbled back to his room.
"Is he ok ?" Sandi asked looking worried
"Uhh Yeah he's just been drinking a lot more lately" Carol responded
He had nights where he just went out and drank his life away, no one really understood why.
Ciah began to get antsy as I was trying to focus and get his food but my hand was shaking terribly.
"Nika" Carol said
"Yes mama ?" I said
"Focus baby feed Ciah" Carol said softly
"Sorry" I said softly
I started to feed Ciah again , but I heard things being thrown across the room Jelani was drunk, and now angry. I could feel my panic attack about to hit, the noise triggered me. I dropped the spoon and began to gasp for air..
"Nika ?" I heard my mom yell
When I woke up I was on the couch and Drake was holding Ciah as he had seemed to be falling to sleep crying. I didn't remember what had happened but I did know I was embarrassed as hell at the moment. I got up slowly as I saw Drake get up to go lay Ciah down.
Drake's POV
I watched as Nicki began to struggle to breath and then quickly pass out as she fell out of her chair I caught her and laid her gently on the couch. My mom ran and got a towel.. as Carol began sobbing uncontrollably...
My mother put the cold rag on Nicki's forehead and then went to comfort Carol during all this poor little Ciah began screaming and turning red, tears rolling , arms flying everywhere. I picked Ciah up and began to rock him.. He kept crying and screaming "Swissy swissy MOMMY" , I rubbed his back and kept saying she's ok buddy she's ok. I tried to process everything but of course my depression wouldn't let me... I was just trying to thing as Ciah was screaming.
Then there is a knock at the door and the police walked in..
"We're here to come get Jelani Maraj , where is he ? " They asked
I pointed to the back room they rushed back there and Jelani left in handcuffs. Carol cried even more and my mother went and checked on Nicki. Nicki .. shit.. I ran over to the couch where Ciah began to just stare at her and look at me.
"What's wrong wit sissy ?" He asked poking at my face
"She's sleepy" I said to him smiling
"What's dis ?" Ciah asked pointing at my freckles
"Freckles some people get them they are like little dots that god paints on your face" I said to Ciah poking his nose, gosh he looked so much like Nicki it was crazy
"I tired" Ciah said laying his head on my chest
5 minutes later he was passed out , I saw Nicki peek her eyes open and quickly shut them again. I went to give her space and lay Ciah down. When I got back Nicki was up getting water she stared down at the ground as she came back to the couch.
"I'm so sorry" Nicki said
"Hey no big deal it's not your fault, was it a trigger ?" I asked her watching her eyes fill with tears..
"Yeah" She said wiping the tears away
Ohh well that's something we could work out in our sessions they do help sometimes.. And I don't think we're leaving anytime soon my mom went to go pick up some clothes and food for dinner.
"Yeah I guess you're right, you guys are they best, I don't know how you deal with such a broken family like ours." Nicki said moving closer to grip my hand again
I felt calm "Everyone is imperfect, but see I you to me with your illness and mine we make a perfect match" I said chuckling "Basically we should be deadly to each other, but yet we help each other in the weirdest way.. our mothers do the same thing fill that problem the other needs fixed." I said looking deeply into her eyes watching her smile grow by the second, her cheeks turned the prettiest pink I have ever seen and her dimples deepened.
"You really are something special" She said as she reached up and kissed my cheek
I chuckled "Umm if you think so beautiful" I said licking my lips
"You need a nap Drake go lay down, come on I will lay with you" She said dragging me to her bed
I was exhausted I needed a way to process all of what was happening to me, and sleeping sometimes is the best way of solving those problems while I'm out cold sleeping. When I wake up they are there again but not as bad. I need to go back on my anti-depressant so I can drop these pills.
When we laid down I closed my eyes and passed right out....
Nicki's POV
I got up from the bed and went to go get Ciah I could hear him squirming in his crib. My mother and Sandi were drinking coffee and talking. I changed Ciah and went to get him a snack and his sippy cup.
"Nika baby , you good now ?" Carol asked handing her the sippy cup
"Yes mama" I said taking the sippy cup
"Nika ?" Carol said
"Yeah ma" I said starting to get irritated
"Umm I talked to your doctors and I'm starting you on anti-anxiety meds" Carol said softly
"What the hell ? I told you no to medicine I don't wanna have problems!" I said loudly setting Ciah down
"You need it Nika all these dizzy spells you're cutting too much oxygen off to your brain I don't like it you need meds it will help" Carol said
"Whatever I'm not arguing you think I'm so horrible I need pills I guess I will take them then" I snatched up Ciah and stormed out the house.
As we drove to the park the only thing I could think of was all the addicts I saw in the jungle. I had tears falling from my eyes like rain. Ciah was silent in the back not bubbly like normal. I sighed heavily I didn't like the effects my illness seemed to have on my brother, he's so young and already being affected by the things around him. I feel responsible horrible, worthless, and worried all at the same time. I needed to breath get some air and think.
We made it to the park and Ciah and I got out and went to go swing together , I kissed his forehead and held on to him tightly watching his smile grow as we swung back and forth.
Session 1 12:56 p.m
"Drake you have opened up pretty well, this session about your brother and dependency with some of the drugs, Onika ?" Dr.Johnson said
"Well I've talked about my anxiety, and the fact that I just started my pills today, what else is there to know" Nicki said dwindling her fingers w
"Why do you think your anxiety started ? What are your fears?" Dr.Johnson asked
"Uhh well " I looked to Drake for comfort .. How could I just open up to this lady ? Why did she have to know my business?
"Onika we are doing sessions to help you, you need to open up" Dr.Johnson pushed staring harshly at me
"Fuck you lady I didn't ask for this ! Why should I open up to you ? I have a mental illness some malfunction in my brain talking about my problems with you... How will that even help ? " I said irritated my head was throbbing from these pills
Drake looked at me and whispered "Nika you are in therapy to open up, who do you feel comfortable opening to, it does help somewhat."
I looked at him my eyes pleading to get out of here "I am comfortable opening up to you why can't I just do that I don't like this I need time she's to pushy" I whispered back
"Ma'am I don't think sessions are going to work for us, it seems Onika isn't ready for this kinda force within her treatment" Drake said grabbing my hand as we left without another word..
Our mothers looked pissed
Drakes POV
"It's just not going to workout mom she's not comfortable I guess we can work together on this open up to each other and help each other .. we could maybe do our own private session ?" I suggested on the car ride home
"Aubrey none of you are fucking therapist Carol and I pay good money for these private sessions and you guys just walk out like you own the place !" Sandi snapped back
As they pulled up to Carols you could hear Nicki getting yelled at too.. We walked in and I got told to sit my ass down on the couch
"You guys are not going to throw money away, it's cool you guys get each other but how are you guys supposed to help each other ? You guys are both sick" Sandi yelled
"I know it seems crazy but we are both able to easily open up to each other and accept each other for our problems without judging, we don't need therapy when we have each other.. There's something that just attracts us to each other" I said to my mother
Nicki sat there dwindling her hands, biting her lips letting her day dreams take over of what their private sessions could be kissing touching and more.. Really truly opening up to each other..
"Fine, fuck it you do these private sessions Aubrey no more pills no more weed ! I want to see you clean within three months, you guys have three months to get this worked out that's it we will give you the house alone for an hour twice a week" Sandi said storming out
Carol ran after her, I looked down at Nicki her face had a sense of relief I could read her eyes and her body language everything lead to a sense of relief.
"Well I guess we could say this is the beginning to us" I said taking her face within my hands her skin was soft as feathers and when my lips touched hers something serenaded within my heart warmth took over, as I pulled away I stared at her.
Nicki's POV
I was taken a back by his kiss his lips were soft plump they made you yearn for more. We stared at each other for a moment, was this really the beginning of us ? A couple I would have hoped for more of something formal rather than just a kiss that took my breath away. I was confused I bit down on my lip hard thinking things over.
"What ? Nicki what's wrong, what did I do ??" Drake asked taking my lip away from my teeth with his thumb
"Is this you asking me out ? How are we even sure this is going to work we barely know each other, you can't just tell me we are starting something.. You gave no warning, I'm confused you give me these feelings I love it but I'm also so confused where is this all going, putting my trust in you not to hurt me.. When you are still hurting yourself. " I said moving myself back from him, I didn't know if it was my anxiety or the fact that I had feelings for him that scared me but I didn't know what this was
His face twisted into hurt, he seemed to try and make sense of what I said "So I'm not good enough for you because I have problems ? I can ask you out formally I just thought if we were already going to be together a lot more often why not try something out but I guess we have differences within our thoughts Onika you need to learn to stop pushing me away cause honestly you're all I got and I kinda need you to help me get good enough for you" He said getting irritated he let go of my hand
"I never said you weren't good enough Aubrey I'm scared what if you leave me ? What if I push you away? I still don't even understand why you are giving me a thought of someone to be with I'm worthless honestly your wasting your time I don't even know how to function in a real relationship. I'm just scared sorry" I said beginning to break down I hadn't believed I was meant for someone in a very long time, I guess I could try to let him in...
"Aubrey we can give this a shot, let's just try things out I was over reacting sorry" I said beginning to cry
"I'm not going anywhere, I don't have anywhere to go.. You can't push me completely away I still need to run to you so you can help me work through these issues I have.. Your worth more than the world has to offer just let me in.. I can show you." He said wrapping me within his arms
I nodded in his chest, letting out all my fears through my tears. I guess this was the fucked up start of us...
Sorry it's a bit shorter than I wanted it to be , the story is still very open right now to where I could let it flow. It's truly only meant to be a 4 parts so the story might end open ended unless I'm really open to continuing it or unless you guys really want it to be finished. Still trying to find it's footing but part 4 should bring the characters together some how... Thanks for reading
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