My Side Prt.3

"Whats that feeling you get from being touched, we all want it and we all need it but when will we get it ? "


It had been a week since the accident, as they called it and Jaz was in the room with the therapist.

"Listen I already told you for the millionth time, I didn't read the signs I should have it was right in front of my face"

"Jasmine none could have read it , he was a fake. Stop blaming yourself and then you can find the real you” Dr.Jackson said

“How , what am I ? I went from being raped to becoming this tragedy within seconds, I was stripping for the fucking fun of it , I was so doped up on shit I couldn't fucking feel.. I'm not shit, but a poor victim.” I yelled

“Only you make yourself the victim wake up Jasmine you let yourself go find what you lost do something you love, something you did as a child that brought peace to you” Dr.Jackson said

It all hit me, i remember being 8 and dancing in the room all of the pink leotards, but i wanted black, i wanted to wear something daring, they all stared I had to be different not ever the same, I was the only black girl and the biggest one. But I remember feeling so powerful, so graceful. It's been years, I just needed to buy out studio space, I didn't want to be just graceful maybe a Lil hip motion might add flare ? I want to dance, I can dance all my pain away just for the time being.

“Alright, i'm going to take up dancing again, can I leave now, my anxiety is not getting any better though what do I do about that?” I said, hoping to get some kind of pill to help me out just one type and its prescribed it could never hurt

“Alright I’d love to know what kind of dancing, Jasmine if I prescribe you something I want you here twice a week so I can see the bottle to make sure you're not abusing” Dr.Jackson said

“Ballet with a mix of hip hop, I will , I don't wanna use for any other reason than to stay focused in school” I said biting my lip. If I could get myself together, maybe just maybe

Jaz has been ignoring texts and call for me for a week now. I called Tasha and i guess she's been doing therapy with my old therapist. Maybe I needed to go see her again, “Yo Drizzy I just got a call from Jaz, she wants to know if you can rent out that dance studio that she showed you she couldn't think of the name, I guess she's dancing again man.” Chubbs said
I smiled tell her yeah I got her, I remember “Rico’s Dance Palace” , she was wasted laughing she wanted to watch the “pppretty girls fly” is how she explained it. I laughed and brought her in to watch them, then I heard her mumble “I used to fly like that” then she walked out the building. I tried to do the best to keep her happy, but nothing was working.

I didn't want to think about the bad only the good. I was just happy she was getting her stuff together, I just wanted to hear Jaz’s voice , I missed her, she was my rock no matter how bad she was she always listened and helped me when I was lost. She was someone I could never let go of. I looked down at my wallpaper of her and Nicki sleeping, I had snuck the pic before I had left the house. They were both so beautiful, broken little things.

As the boys were heading out I felt a tap on my shoulder “she will talk to you soon, give her time Drizz” Chubbs said. I laughed and dapped him up as he left.


“Josh I’m through, get out !” Nicki yelled, throwing his things out the door

“How you going to throw me out when you was the one fucking a chick, she ain't even got a dick, seriously what did she have that I couldn't give you, I fucking love your bitch ass” Josh yelled, getting his things to go

He had gone through her phone when she was in the shower, he had a feeling she was cheating but with some Lil chick never. He was confused and  hurt. Nicki just kicked him out she couldn't give Josh a reason why she started cheating she just did.

“You ain't shit, she gives me attention, she doesn't use me like you have, and then tell me i'm a shitty girl for not giving up the goods” Nicki yelled

“Real fucking childish Onika, if you communicated maybe there wouldn't have been these problems, I'm gone I don't want some broken girl anyways , lose my number” Josh yelled and like a light he was gone.

Nicki stared at all of the emptiness that consumed her condo, she wanted to talk but to whom. Jaz needed time to heal, and Aubrey was not an option. she just sat in the corner of her closet and cried. Her world was falling apart and a new chapter was opening up the question was. Am I Ready? She looked up and saw one of Aubrey’s sweaters hanging out the drawer. Jaz must have left it, it smelled so good so much like him she need his touch when would they finally come together.

She got up ran a bath and sat back as his music filled her speakers, she texted Jaz, she couldn't handle it anymore she needed someone. and none of her friends understood at the time.

Onika Boo: Come visit me , Josh found out he left, I need you

Jaz: Nic, I want to be there for you, but you know this isn't healthy are you sure you even want to go there, I'm not even talking to Aubrey…

Onika Boo: Talk to him, that's your brother! Yes please just this once, I will get the ticket out to see you I should be there in a couple hours.

Jaz: I will talk to him tomorrow, want me to meet you or you just come to the house?

Onika Boo: Meet me

And Just like that things seemed to fall back into place everyone was reverting it seemed, still using one another this sick twisted love triangle.

Three Months Later…

As No Angel-Beyonce played

Jasmine took her place tip toeing around Drake he then wrapped his arms around her, she smiled. Ballet and hip hop her two favorite to mix. When Beyoncé hit “  you're no angel either baby” she let go and backed away flapping her arms like wings.

The melody took control of her body as she, flowed balancing on her toe just spinning. He smiled. Then as the chorus came on again, he wrapped his arms around her waist, she pushed, but this time she lifted her left leg high for him to grab as she bent down spinning. She looked so graceful as he pulled her back up by her waist. She looked up at him, her curls were out face full of life,the ombré with the honey blonde hair flowing with her natural dark brown. She never looked more  like his sister, the girl he never got to truly see she was here, flowing dancing laughing. Another part hit and  she was rocking and grinding her hips with Aubrey, along with Beyonce's beautiful voice, the chemistry they held was real, but they couldn't ever fully grasp it. When the song came to the end she lay on the ground as he moved his hand up and down like trying to bring her back to life her body move her face fixated on a corner of the room. As soon as the song ended, he heard the clapping.
The real angel had just walked into the room, Jasmine ran in her little black leotard into Onika’s arms.

"Babe that was beautiful I didn't know you knew ballet, I knew you could move your hips, but your body so graceful, if Beyoncé saw herself, she would be impressed."

"Thanks Nicki I had to find my old muse again it's music, I just get so lost in it its crazy" Jasmine said out of breath

Nicki saw the light in her eyes she was actually getting better ? No more doctor, they haven't seen each other in months since the incident. Now Jasmine is brand new and Aubrey was there staring as Jasmine went on about school and her now recovering. The look in his eyes was pain, Onika wanted to leave.

"Soo Nicki can we go out to a club tonight it's been forever and I've been searching for a good enough excuse for Tasha to let me out of her sight besides dancing, which she makes someone watch me every time" Jasmine asked

"Of course a celebration for my baby!" Nicki said excitedly

"Aubrey I want you to come too!" Jasmine said

"Anything you want Lil sis" he replied kissing her forehead and heading out the door

The tension was too thick he couldn't breathe her presence suffocated him. He walked out only to see Jasmine running after him.

"Aubrey Aubrey " she was running gosh she looked so beautiful the sun hit her face, her curls bounced, every lump and bump bouncing with her. So your vibrant, he got caught by her beauty, she was so so so him, it hit why they had clicked so well the tiny things meant the most to the both of them. They were exactly alike, he missed the sex, he missed finding himself within her, and touching her little body today didn't help. He thought when he saw Nicki the feeling would fade, but they didn't, he was starting to fall for jasmine and he hated himself for it every second of getting to know the real her he fell deep.

"Jasmine I'm falling for you, I can't handle the new you, I've missed this girl for so long that I feel for her" Drake said

Jasmine took a step back, looked at him, and laughed.

"Aw brother you're so dumb, you missed the old me, your only falling back in love with yourself. I am you, in almost every way, you haven't been the same since Onika. I love you, but I could never be in love with someone who is me in any sense of the way. You will find your way back to Onika, I'm telling you just talk to her, her and josh aren't even together anymore. "

Aubrey looked at me then I saw that he wasn't playing when he said he was falling for me.

"So you would never give me a chance? I'm a good guy besides all of the fuck ups Jasmine!" He asked

"Listen you would never love me fully you know that, you want sex you can have it, but you want my love, I want 110% of you back and we both know that would never happen. You are only open with Onika, you love her."
Jasmine was tearing up this couldn't be happening, she didn't want to hurt him.

"You know I would if I could, I don't think Onika wants me anymore, I'm not shit, I can't be loved I guess" Drake said, looking away

"Stop trying to guilt trip me this isn't funny Aubrey, don't play with people's hearts, gosh you're so childish, I love you and you know that, Onika loves you and you know that, but you sit back and let her go. Maybe when you man up you will finally get what you want" Jasmine yelled, pushing him and he tried to wrap his arms around her to hug her hold her.. he was seeking to be touched.

How could he get her off track she was trying to stay away from all this love stuff, it drove her up the wall.

"I still love you Aubrey" Nicki said, standing there watching the two fight was hurting her, Jasmine didn't need this type of problems put on her.

He looked at her as Jasmine was still trying to escape his embrace, he was so stupid and stubborn. He let Jasmine go and drove off in his car. He didn't even see Jasmine land on the ground, he was just so gone he couldn't handle his feelings.

Nicki ran over to Jasmine , but she put a hand up, "Ugh just go I will see you tonight" Jasmine said.

What was happening things were supposed to get better, not worse, Nicki needed to talk to someone, Jasmine was just pushing her away. Just like Aubrey, who would Onika really have in the end.

As I gathered my stuff from the studio, I stared at the scratches on my arm. Fucking Aubrey! He is such a baby he can't handle anything ever! she yelled to herself. Her body was beautiful, but it would take a lot for her to notice that, the scars lingered all over her, bruises still healing, this was a tough fight and she was struggling to win. She still can't believe she fell victim, she was smart right?

Nicki waited for Jasmine to walk out, but something told her to go inside. So she walked back into the mirror covered building to find jasmine dancing, pushing her body to its limits holding herself up,  her whole body shaking, perfection is what she wanted, but no one is perfect, when would she realize that?

Nicki watched as she jumped endlessly, spun and spun. Every movement was like magic, her body was so flexible, she remembered jasmine saying it had been years since she had last did ballet, hip hop or more like stripping was something she had been good at for the last few years.

The pain of holding her body up Jasmine feigned it, love it, pain, she just wasn't normal. The pain was there to let her know that she was still alive somewhere inside. Though she was getting better a few months couldn't change the fact that she needed to feel alive. The love she felt for Nicki and Drake drove her crazy, she needed someone to have to herself.

Already have part 4 and 5 prepared this one is defiantly going to be longer! Will anyone find out the real truth of each others feelings ever? I soo love this story I surprise myself as I write it I don't have a set goal right now. So when I write I'm going along with the journey like you guys are! Hope all is well and you like it :) !!